Fashion trends come and go, but one thing that remains constant: You should always be wearing short and bright swim trunks to the beach and pool! Yea, we know that a decade ago people were wearing those saggy, baggy, boring ass board shorts, but those were meant for surfers, not you. You, my homeboy, were meant to be stylin’ at the beach and be in party mode from the inside out and here are the reasons why..
You go to the beach to get a tan not tan lines..
Short swim trunks at the beach are the only style that is going to not make you look like this tool box. If you show up to the beach like this please stay far away from civilization because no one wants to look at your two tone thigh meat. On the flip side, find some balance and please don’t let your banana lay in this hammock. You are scaring the children Chester!
Show off that bod like a stallion wildly roaming the hills of Argentina
We know you have been working hard (or not, but who cares) getting that pilates body. Get out there you savage and show the people what you got. Wearing baggy board shorts is like wearing a t-shirt in the pool. Just don’t come to the party if you can’t get at least that together. Short swim trunks invite only. Board short bros, it got lost in the mail.. it was never sent.
Girls love them and guys are jealous of them
We surveyed over 5,000 people (we didn’t we just have a shit ton of friends) and they said with 100% certainty that they prefer short swim trunks over long baggy potato sack board shorts. So that means if you are the dude and are rocking short trunks at the beach, you will get noticed, that’s for sure. Guys will wish they had the bravado to wear them and girls will go bananas over what’s covering yours.
In case you don’t like to read, here is the summary:
Short, Bright Swim Trunks = Radical
Baggy, Long Board Shorts = Lame AF